What I've learned about regulating my emotions
Regulating your nervous system has so many diverse options, even for neurodivergents.
I’ve talked a lot about how bad it is, when doctors dismiss patients because they don’t understand what’s going on, or because they decide it’s psychological without proving that it is.
Today I want to talk about how to take a moment, slow down, and help regulate yourself.
For me, ehlers danlos has made yoga a not so great option. But… what HAS become an excellent way to feel good, get some positive movement, etc. has been finding a physical therapist that has focus on POTS and EDS patients. And while that may seem like an out-of-reach thing for some of us, I want to explore a little bit of WHY yoga and even physical therapy, can help regulate us.
A huge focus of both working through physical therapy and yoga, is exercising while focused on tightening very specific muscles, relaxing other muscles, all while breathing calmly and steadily. You’re not really leaving room for all your worries, thoughts, stresses, and you’re focused on your mind and body and nervous system working together to do specific movements with your body. It’s a positive focus change. You are kind of focused just on going through your exercises, focusing on controlling your breath and specific muscles. And this does give some power over your life and body back to you.
It sounds really easy and sometimes kinda lame, until you do it. The focus on controlled breathing is a much bigger deal in Yoga than a lot of other therapies, but it’s also a huge part of my physical therapy in POTS and eds focused physical therapy.
I have some days when I must exercise sitting or laying down, and my physical therapy focuses on all kinds of things that you can do while in “resting” positions.
Let me share some of the things I’ve done, that I do, that I found very helpful.
One simple exercise is to feel for the muscle in the crook of your hip. I position my thumb on my pelvis above my hip bone, and my fingers over the muscle between my hip and belly button, and try to tighten muscles under my hand. All while breathing in a controlled manner, and keeping that muscle tight through an exhalation. You want to tighten this muscle without tightening your glutes or upper thighs, or without tightening your entire stomach. It’s a bit tricky at first, but when you activate the right muscle, you will feel it under your hand.
It takes a few times of practicing, but it’s a great exercise that focuses on controlling your breath, and tightening muscles that greatly assist core strength and joint stability. This is actually one of my physical therapy exercises, and it’s a core exercise. Meaning, this exercise is one you build on.
Now there are tons of exercises we could go over. Tons that focus on breathing while doing a specific task, tons that focus on gently reminding us to be in the moment. And different exercises have helped me at different times.
The 5-4-3-2-1 method focuses on calming you down by focusing first on 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. I like to practice breathing only exercises, like breathing in manners that move your stomach only, with other exercises meant to ground and refocus me, like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, for example.
The tapping solution is a book and app that combines touch (tapping), with breathing and focused guided meditations. It looks and sounds a little goofy, but it can help ground you in the moment. *
The Finch app has some calming exercises as well, included in the free version, to help calm you down and refocus. It also lets you list tasks that you complete to take care of a little bird in the app.*
Focusing on exercises that are gentle stretches, such as nerve glides for your legs where you slowly raise your leg and bring your toes back towards you, then gently begin pointing the toes and lowering your leg again while breathing. Breathe in while you raise your leg and bring your toes from pointing forward to back and pointing at the ceiling, breath out while slowly lowering your leg and slowly pointing your toes until in resting position.
A lot in life is out of control. And it’s awful when one of those things that seems out of control, is our body. A huge trigger for addictions of all kinds is that sensation of being out of control. It’s not healthy or acceptable to attempt to control others, and we do a massive disservice when we begin falling into bad habits and destructive patterns. What we can control, is what we do about our situations. And sometimes that starts with the smallest of changes. For me this heavily includes exercises, even if they sound unimportant or too light-weight, staying with them over time leads to better health mentally and physically and better self-control. I do several even if I’m having to lay in bed that day!
I am a firm believer that we can all find something we can do to help our mental and physical well-being. Even if it’s hard, or even if the most simple things are hard to begin with. I’m still learning to regulate my emotions, and I’ve begun to think it’s a life-long learning adventure, you can keep getting better as long as you don’t give up!
Do you have any core exercises you like to fall back on? As always, best wishes on your adventure wherever it leads you.
-ALittleBirdie
*I am not brand affiliated with any brands I list and I am not giving medical advice - I am fully reader supported. Please always consult professionals! Brands I do list are brands I have tried or recommend myself. If you find my posts useful, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber or even sharing!
